Home » How to raise a resilient child – what you should and shouldn’t do

How to raise a resilient child – what you should and shouldn’t do

We all want our children to be capable of bouncing back from setbacks and approaching challenges with a positive attitude, and there is a lot we can do at home to help with this. But how exactly do we raise a resilient child?

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It’s our job as parents to help our children develop the coping skills they need to overcome difficulties and handle frustrations independently. Read on for some advice on how you can raise a resilient child from a nursery in Oxfordshire.

Resist the urge to intervene

It’s never nice to see your child struggling with something, and it’s instinctive to want to help them, but swooping in to save them immediately won’t help them develop the ability to overcome obstacles on their own. Try to sit back and let them figure things out themselves, while reassuring them they’re capable of doing so. Being left to their own devices is a great
opportunity for children to learn about their own abilities and develop their problem-solving skills.

Explore delayed gratification when raising a resilient child

One aspect of resilience is understanding that you can’t always have what you want exactly when you want it. It can be hard to teach children this in the age of social media where people expect things straight away, but it’s an important concept for children to grasp. You can help your child with this by modelling delayed gratification and letting your child see you
working hard for results which aren’t instant. Through this they’ll start to understand that it takes discipline and commitment to achieve some things, but they’ll reap the rewards in time. Knowing this will help them be more resilient when they face hurdles or disappointments.

Encourage healthy risk-taking to raise a resilient child

Giving your child a certain level of freedom will enable them to explore their capabilities and their limits. Prompt them to take small risks such as speaking up in class or starting a new extra-curricular activity, so they gradually learn what they’re capable of. Support them when they fail at something and encourage them to keep trying – they’ll get more satisfaction from
achieving a goal after several attempts.

Don’t over-accommodate

While it’s understandable to want to give your child whatever they want, this can set up unrealistic expectations for the future. If your child feels that everyone should accommodate their needs as a priority, they rely too much on other people to fulfil them and inevitably struggle when this doesn’t happen.


An important part of resilience in children is knowing they can rely on themselves to solve problems or overcome challenges, rather than expecting others to do it for them.

How did I do?

Did you enjoy this post? Why not have a look at some others whilst you’re here.  If you want to read some more of my usual kind of stuff, head over to my Mum Life section. You’ll find all things parenting with a tongue-in-cheek twist. Or you’ll discover lots of UK holiday inspiration and family days out in my Travel Section.

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